Before learning ONE of the methods we use to help clients quit watching porn and end their porn addiction, we have to address a very POWERFUL DYNAMIC inside the mind. If someone wakes you up in the middle of the night asking you exactly why you want to stop watching pornography you should be able to without hesitation give the EXACT answer. Since that day, by God's grace, I have not fallen to the sins of pornography nor masturbation, nor have I felt tempted to these sins in any serious way.
Please help me to never commit the sins of pornography and masturbation ever again. This is precisely what the apostle Paul says: the desires of the flesh are real and they are against the things God commands (Galatians 5:16), even in the life of a Christian.
We know that pornography and other addictions are used as self-medicating tools which only lead to feeling worse than before. Many men (and women) have been caught in the snare of internet porn and find themselves helplessly addicted to its visual stimulation.
At Level 3, when you are not watching porn, there is a very high chance that you are fantasizing or sexualizing your encounters with other people. This results in uncontrollable lust, an inability to experience true sexual intimacy in marriage, and often intense feelings of guilt and despair.
I've seen some great videos of couples engaging in intimate and respectful sexual encounters - of course, these are often only found on feminist porn sites or in the female friendly” category (It's interesting to note what the category name female friendly” implies about all the other categories).
Sure, there are a few differences, but overall, quitting porn is just like quitting pretty much any other bad habit. In other words, don't use relapsing to masturbation as an excuse to use pornography, since that will drill the nail into the coffin. That's when many of the older guys, in their 40's and 50's start to develop sexual problems.
If you feel like you can't stop looking at porn, that's because you've likely created a very strong habit in the reward circuitry of your brain. Wanting, desiring, and above all having sex with beautiful women is one of the funnest things in this life. Your old triggers are no longer hindering you and you can go extended periods of time without viewing pornography.
Women provoke a our inner sexual desire with the way they dress, and then scream about being a pervert when we respond in the only manner we can. At the end of the day, that should really be the goal for all of us: to approach the use of porn in our lives as mindfully as possible.
Remember that a lot of guilt and shame, even if it is self-imposed, finds its way into the porn-masturbation relationship and this can keep you from enjoying easy contact, as it should be, with members of the opposite sex, or anyone you're attracted to.
This is why you need to be honest when you decide to quit pornography, and have decided to tell Allah about it. Now, you need to embark on a new lifestyle that will secure you perseverance and steadfastness in abstaining from pornography (and other evil deeds).
With all the accountability and potential for shame and long-walks-to-the-convenience store that offline porn involves, I've found it an easy vice to give up. I feel like I disappoint people when I tell them this; they were looking for porn-acquisition hijinks, or sex trade perhaps the revelation of a secret hard drive stash, or just straight up surreptitious internet use to get my fix.